First Look at New Werewolves from Howling Remake: Howling Reborn
Arrow In The Head has the first picture of one of the new werewolf designs from Howling Reborn up on their site, saying: “The werewolf you see below is one of the henchmen werewolves. Flat snout. The head werewolves have the classic HOWLING sticking out snouts. I know you’re all better people for knowing this.”
My honest reaction: this sucks it. I don’t like that there are both werewolves with snouts and werewolves without snouts. What, they couldn’t afford snouts for everybody? Well, I guess at least they get points for not using CG snouts… unless that’s how the snouty wolves actually get their snouts! That fucking better not be the case.
Call me a pessimist, but here’s why I am not loving the look of the new werewolves, henchmen or not:
#1: you don’t see wolves in the wild with vastly different snout sizes. The size of their schnoz does not magically change based on their rank in the pack. Obviously, this is also true for humans. So why should werewolves be any different? Even though I prefer a good sized snout like those in the original Howling, I don’t have anything against shorter-snouted werewolves like Lon Chaney Jr’s Wolf Man or Michael J Fox’s Teen Wolf. But mixing the two is just not necessary and not cool.
#2: will Lord of the Rings sue? When I look at that picture, I see an orc, or maybe a goblin, or some other fantasy creature. This doesn’t seem horrory or werewolfy enough to me.
#3: will Underworld sue? This reminds me a lot of their wolf-vampire hybrid, although he didn’t have ears like goddamn Gizmo the Gremlin.
Perhaps time will help me grow more accustomed to this new breed of werewolf. Perhaps Howling Reborn won’t totally drag its ass across the carpet and lick its own red rocket like I’m afraid that its going to. I really hope so, because what I’m seeing so far is confirming my worst fears… they are totally going to piss all over The Howling with this remake.
Mathilda May – Lifeforce
“Alright, here’s the pitch. Lifeforce: a movie about vampires from outer space, starring Patrick frickin’ Stewart and Mathilda May, the hottest woman you have ever seen who walks around totally nude for over half of the movie and sucks the life out of everyone she meets. Oh, and we get Tobe Hooper, the legendary man who did Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist, to direct it. Whaddayasay?”
Sounds like I pulled that pitch out of my ass, doesn’t it? But its for real, yo.
I’m betting you have probably already seen Lifeforce
Instead, what I would like to do is show you some things about Lifeforce that maybe you haven’t seen, or that maybe you didn’t know. For example, Lifeforce was lucky enough to get 3 totally kick ass international posters, each one cool enough that any other movie would kill for it:
France. You can tell this is France’s poster because it has full-on nudity, and the French are perverts like that. Also, the words are in French.
Japan. “Because anything you can do, we can do crazier.”
Not really sure where this one is from, but if I had to guess, it would be from OUTER FUCKING SPACE!!!
Here is something about Mathilda May that you may not have been aware of: she would be the hottest Predator ever.
She also rocks a leather bra so hard that PETA has given her numerous awards. I imagine.
Mathilda May is so beautiful, she makes flowers look ugly.
Sometimes, Mathilda will get a far away look in her eye, and start taking off her clothes. These are the times that she is thinking about me.
And finally, because I know its all you horn dogs really care about, I have a wallpaper-worthy shot of Mathilda absolutely naked as a jay bird. But because I am a decent and discerning man of taste, I’m not going to leave it out in the open. So… WARNING: Nudity! By clicking this link, you agree that you are of legal age to view adult material where you live, and you release this site and its owner from any and all responsibility for your actions. And that you asked your mom and she said it was ok. You filthy pervert.
Zombie Terrors and EEEK! from Asylum Press
Asylum Press has already brought us the blood-chilling horror anthologies The Asylum of Horrors #1
The first is Zombie Terrors, which is exciting not only because it showcases zombie stories in an impressively broad range of contemporary artistic styles, but because it also features lots of blood and boobs! The official synopsis: Asylum Press brings you a giant flesh rotting collection of all-new zombie tales. Featuring an international cast of artistic talent. Szymon Kudranski (Spawn) brings us ‘The Barber’, a tale of the undead and the Mob.
In ‘Creature Converts’, a cat lady’s feline friends develop a taste for the flesh. In ‘Feast’, a gangster’s taste for a delicacy becomes his end. In ‘Hate’, a zombie must confront what he’s become. Billy George brings us ‘The Undead Templars’, a tale of the blind dead.
In ‘The Jiang Shi’, we get a taste of Asian zombies, and Robert S. Rhine and Frank Forte deliver ‘Zombie Brain Feast’. Other tales include ‘Bond’, ‘Dead of Night’, and ‘Desert Church’ – over 15 flesh-eating tales to shock and horrify – plus an all-new tale by horror master Tim Vigil!
Check out these killer sample pages from the upcoming Asylum Press zombie horror graphic novel anthology, Zombie Terrors:
The next slice of horror comic hell from Asylum Press is entitled EEEK!, for which they warn: This retro-style anthology of all-new horror tales is guaranteed to give you the eeries and the creepies!
Taking a pinch of black humour from EC comics and mixing it with the art stylings of House of Mystery and Warren comics, EEEK! blends a heady broth that hits you like a burning incense stick to the retina. Jason Paulos delivers the goods with over 15 tales of revenge, zombies, vampires, ghouls and monsters; each tale drawn in a different style reminiscent of the B&W horror mags of the ’70s and ’80s!
Asylum Press is taking a big risk here comparing the art in this book to the black and white masterpieces that haunted the pages of magazines like House of Mystery, Eerie, and Creepy. Very very few artists today can even dream of holding a candle to the classic horror magazine masters. To invoke the greatness of such an era gone by and then not do it justice would most likely not be received very well by horror fans. Black and white is such a fitting style for horror, I really hope they can pull it off, it would be great to see, and hopefully might inspire more homages to black and white horror comics, even if only for the sake of being “retro”.
What happens when stripping is no longer exciting enough?
The fumetti “strip” and the music video featured in this post both pose an interesting question about stripping… what happens when merely taking off clothes is no longer exciting enough?
I admit I’m a little confused about the chronology of the panels, but overall I really love this fumetti strip. I remastered it from the original scans, so the blacks are blacker and the whites are whiter. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.
I’m not into Robbie Williams or his music, but I do think his “Rock DJ” video is incredibly awesome. You just gotta wait until near the end for it to get good, and to see why this fumetti strip reminded me of this video…
The Puppet Monster Massacre Exclusive Sneak Peek
I posted the trailer for this upcoming movie a while back, totally fuckin’ amped because there simply aren’t enough puppet movies out there, let alone puppet horror movies! Now a sneak peek of the first 5 minutes is out, and its got me rofling something awful! I love it. If you like puppets, if you like monsters, if you like massacres, if you like horror, if you like comedy, and/or if you like sneak peeks, you MUST peep this…
Dan Brereton: The Goddess & The Monster
After more than 20 years, DAN BRERETON, award-winning comics creator and painter, collects his best works for the very first time in this beautiful full-color hardcover volume.
THE GODDESS & THE MONSTER features 144 pages of furiously colorful illustrations in BRERETON’s unmistakable style, spanning his work in comics, film and more and ranging from the commercial to personal, adventurous to lurid, dark to heroic.
Next week is the week! It’s not easy being a fan of Dan Brereton. Believe me, I know. But next week being a Dan fan is going to pay off, BIG TIME.
See, there are a couple of problems that plague us Dan fans. The first is that there just isn’t a ton of the guy’s work readily to be had. Sure, he’ll do a cover here, a one-off there, but its in maddeningly small doses. He only puts out an actual book (consisting of many pages all done by him) only once every couple of years. Nocturnals
The second problem for Dan fans is that while it is most likely his horror-themed work like Nocturnals or The Psycho
And I can’t help but get the feeling Dan actually knows this about his fans. Its not Thor, or Beta Ray Bill, or Superman, or even Batman on the front of this book, is it? No. It’s horror icons Frankenstein’s monster and the always beautiful Bride of Frankenstein, who is looking exceptionally hot I must say! Anybody who knows me knows how in love I am with the Bride, and Dan really has made her look brutally beautiful for this cover. That’s right, for the cover of this very rare and important book, Dan decided to lead with his strong suit, which is and has always been horror.
So next week us Dan fans are finally getting a real live artbook, Dan Brereton: The Goddess & The Monster, 144 gorgeously painted pages from the man himself that will help alleviate both of the aforementioned problems afflicting his fans, even if only temporarily. And there won’t be any crappy story to drag the book down, instead the focus will be on Dan’s work, and Dan’s work alone. I expect that there will be some superhero art in this book, but I think I can take it. I’m hoping it will be a tiny minority compared to the horror, sci-fi, fantasy, smut, and other genres that are sure to grace the pages of this long awaited artbook.
Black Hole
I’m not going to attempt to review this book, because this book laughs at how insignificant I am. My friend lent it to me and described it as a “magnum opus”. While that term has always seemed a little heavy-handed and over-indulgent to me, Black Hole
As an aspiring artist myself, Charles Burns’ artwork intimidates the hell out of me. I have long been in awe of his amazing noir-meets-nightmare style… the intense blacks, the simplification and perfection of shapes, the robot-like precision of each line. From a technical standpoint his work is mind-blowing, and from a spiritual standpoint his work is soul-crushing. I know without a doubt that I will never be even close to as good as Burns, and my only comfort is knowing that nobody else ever will either.
The story follows several teens at a time that a sexually transmitted disease is causing horrible mutations to them and their peers. Some of those infected with the mutation virus can get by in normal society by covering up and hiding their freaky features, but others are not so lucky. Those with the worst mutations have retreated into the woods, living in isolation and only meeting with fellow freaks around campfires at night. Even the story itself is a mutation of sorts, splicing together slice-of-life with horror and adding a little abstract psychedelia for good measure.
For me to talk about plot points beyond those is rather silly, because this book is so much more than just a series of events. It is a series of emotions. Burns’ artwork coaxes primal fears out the from the hidden dark of your subconscious, and forces you to relive the feelings of being a teenager. He perfectly captures the confusion and alienation of those tumultuous years, playing upon those feelings that you thought you had forgotten and long since buried to amplify the horror that the virus wreaks upon these young lives. You really have to experience this book for yourself to understand the emotions and feelings that it invokes. No matter how awesome every aspect of this book is, the sum still manages to somehow be more than the parts.
After.Life
Christina Ricci is the billboard-forehead love of my life, so I was pumped beyond reason to find out that she was starring in another horror movie. Her last foray into horror was Cursed
My excitement burst into unbridled glee when I found out that my darling Christina was totally butt naked through about half of After.Life
I’m happy to declare that yes, it undeniably does. If you like mystery, drama, and/or horror sans any predictable Hollywood trappings, you should get a big kick out of this flick. It keeps you constantly guessing… “Is she, or isn’t she?” “Is he, or isn’t he?” “Does that mean what i think it means?” Even as the credits roll, shadows of doubt will still haunt your mind. After.Life successfully shrouds itself in uncertainty and stays open to interpretation without falling into the same trap that so many similar films do, which is to mistake confusing the audience for misdirecting the audience. M. Night Shyamalan could learn a lot from this movie, though I fear (hope) it may be too late for his career even if he does.
At the heart of After.Life is a tangle of seemingly unanswerable questions: Is Christina Ricci’s character “Anna” alive, or is she dead? If she’s alive, why doesn’t she have a pulse? If she’s dead, how is she able to get off the mortician’s table and wander around the mortuary? And how is it that the mortician can hear Anna and converse with her? Does he truly possess the special gift to communicate with the dead, as he claims? Or is that just a lie he tells her to keep her captive in his mortuary until he can doom her to a premature burial?
Liam Neeson seems to alternate between benevolent and threatening as the mortician “Eliot Deacon”. One moment he is kindly soothing Anna with promises that he will ease her travel into the afterlife, and the next he is angrily fuming about how every single dead person unlucky enough to end up on his slab asks him the same questions and gives him nothing but trouble.
Anna’s boyfriend, “Paul” (Justin Long), can’t shake the feeling that Anna isn’t dead. He has seen Anna’s death certificate, and he has seen the smashed up car in which Anna may or may not have met her end, but he is having none of it. He demands to be allowed to see her body, but since he isn’t family, Eliot Deacon turns him away. Paul then freaks out on the police chief, demanding that he get a warrant to search the mortuary to find Anna. Is Paul just suffering a mental breakdown in colossal denial, or does he truly and really feel – perhaps even know – that Anna is still alive?
Though I thoroughly enjoyed Ricci’s chronic lack of clothing, others are sure to find it off-putting, and call it exploitative. And though I thoroughly love movies that keep you guessing up to (and beyond) the last minute, others are sure to feel “jerked around” because they aren’t being spoon-fed in the usual Hollywood style. But if you’re looking for something new and different, and you can look beyond or even appreciate these aspects, then you should definitely check out After.Life.
Anna Paquin – True Blood, X-Men, Trick ‘r Treat
Anna Paquin is absolutely one of my favorite horror babes of all time because not only is she super cute, but she seems really cool, to boot. She is currently the star of my favorite TV show ever in the history of ever, True Blood
Originally scheduled to release in 2007 and then suffering delays for 2 entire years until it finally came out in 2009, Trick ‘r Treat
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Riley One Shot
Acclaimed Buffy television writer Jane Espenson is back with answers to one of the surprising twists she and executive producer Joss Whedon introduced in the hit story arc “Retreat”!
In the midst of the battle, Buffy’s former flame, the demon fighting soldier Riley Finn, seemingly in league with Twilight, was revealed as a double agent working for the Slayer army. Now Espenson and artist Karl Moline (Fray, Willow) uncover the secrets of Riley’s recruitment by Buffy, his infiltration of Twilight’s inner circle, and what’s become of him and his superspy wife, Sam.
This essential one shot delivers thrilling spy adventure and is filled with major revelations for the story of Buffy Season Eight!
Fuckin’ Riley.
Me and my friends who watched Buffy hated him so bad that it was requisite and mandatory to prepend the word “Fuckin’” to Riley’s name every time you were unlucky enough to have need to utter it.
Riley is a needy little bitch whose whiny pussy presence is the one thing that threatens to tarnish the absolute perfection of the acclaimed Emmy-nominated Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode “Hush”, which is probably my favorite Buffy episode of all time. And I wouldn’t have to say “probably” if Riley weren’t in it.
Even if this one-shot turns out to be crushingly crucial to the Buffy ‘verse, even if it turns out to be the best one-shot in the history of comic books ever, I’ll never know because I refuse to read it.
Fuckin’ Riley.
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